do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
