That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
