I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
