I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
