I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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