dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
