Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
