Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
