What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
