You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize