Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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