I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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