for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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