if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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