Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
