I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
