none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
