hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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