That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
