i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
