no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
