i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
