Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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