he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
