OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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