Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
