Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
