No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
