I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The police scanner is talking about you again....
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
