I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Congratulations! We have a period
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
