I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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