Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
