Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Fuck appropriateness.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
