Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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