Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
