I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
