she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
