Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

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(804): View more from Virginia

Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?

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(914): View more from New York

Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic

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(217): View more from Illinois

According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout

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(502): View more from Kentucky

His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.

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