What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
