o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
