You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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