By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
