Dual....:-)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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