I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
