Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
