i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
