i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
