her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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