New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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