you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there was a trapeze. enough said
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
