his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
