what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
