He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
