do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Life is so much better after having sex.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
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