The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
