just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize