Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
