Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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