I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
