did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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