Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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