Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
