She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
