Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
