my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Randomize
