Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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