Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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