i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
