Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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